I Am Not The One

Have you ever had a friend that constantly screwed up your friendship and always expected you to just forgive them until you couldn’t anymore?

I’ve been thinking back on some past friendships and considering how much everyone has changed in the last 5 years and wondering how different we actually might be now. I have always had a habit of not chasing others. I don’t feel that genuinely healthy relationships stem from chasing and being chased. I have always considered myself a romantic, but I have never pursued someone who was hard to keep.

This has left me without much stress. I don’t worry about others and concentrate on my own personal projects and hobbies. You’ll usually never find me searching for a lost friend or babysitting anyone, and no one ever puts me in that position anymore.

The only catch is that I don’t have very many long lasting friendships. I see people who have been friends since we were 12 years old and consider each other like family, but then I just think about all the screwed up things I’ve known has happened between them. I wonder how genuine their connection actually is, or if they’re just pretending for Facebook. I have no idea because I’m not in their loop anymore and it’s kind of satisfying.

It’s a confusing feeling. I miss old friendships and wish things didn’t fall apart the way they had, but I also feel relief that I no longer am put into situations that stress me out and takes over my personal life. I’m not the one to call in the middle of the night. I’m not the one to have company unannounced. I am not the one to chase you down and ask you what’s wrong. I am just simply not the one.

Do you feel that it’s always best to forgive and forget or do you put your personal happiness before destructive relationships?

Another Commoner


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