I’ve been seeing many blog posts lately about the “hook-up culture” and how devestating it is for young people and our society and blah blah blah. I’m here to say that you literally don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, and you don’t have to continue to be in relationships with people who don’t want the same things as you. You’re walking into situations that aren’t meant for you and then complaining when people don’t change to cater to what you want.
If you haven’t seen any of these blog posts, the general idea is this: tinder is the only way to meet guys who will ignore your calls and text messages just to hit you up at 3am to “hang out.” These guys won’t ever make an effort to take you on a legitimate date or spend any real time with you that isn’t revolved around sex. So women will then try to trick him into going out on dates that he didn’t want to go on in the first place where he then disappoints her by not doing what she was trying to manipulate him to do. These women on these blog posts brag about their manipulation techniques that gets them free drinks and meals, but then want to complain that guys want nothing more than hooking up. You’re not being genuine either.
Here’s the best trick of all, you could just not talk to people who don’t want the same things as you. Life is too short to play around and pretend with guys who aren’t genuine. I put no shame on anyone who doesn’t want a long-term relationship, but please don’t blame hook-up culture for always going on dates with guys who just want to hook-up. If you just want to hook-up too, then great. Everyone got what they wanted, but don’t come back later and try to put blame on someone else.
I have been in the dating scene too, and it’s definitely difficult. I’m not saying that it’s easy to find a genuine person to be with, but it’s better to be alone and single than with someone who isn’t going to treat you right. I didn’t have a single date for over a year before I met my current boyfriend. Our relationship blossomed because neither of us were playing games from the very beginning. We went on a few dates, liked each other, and then that was it. We were together. I didn’t need to define the relationship with him. There were and are some rough times, but it was relatively easy to get together and be genuine people with one another. These things are possible for you too.
There really are plenty of fish in the sea, and you will always be able to meet someone else that will treat you better. I don’t think it’s correct to use that phrase as a way of making people disposable to you, but I think it’s right to use it when ridding your life of people who only bring you heartache and problems. There are people out there who want long-term relationships. There are people who want to eventually get married and have children. There’s a large portion of the population that still wants those things.
So instead of wasting weeks/months/years on someone who is giving you very obvious signs that they’re not interested in anything more than sex, just stop talking to them and keep looking for someone else. If you don’t get the right vibe about someone, you don’t have to go on a date with them. You can pass, because there are other people out there. No one is forcing anyone else to participate in “hook-up culture.” Only you and you alone chooses who you contact and make plans with.
But what the hell do I know?