Hey, guys! Has anyone else noticed this consistent trend with parents online? There seems to be a big community of parents who believe it’s best to constantly dominate over them. They think it teaches their children life lessons to be treated like an abused dog and then punished for trying to stand up for themselves or simply reacting.
I watched a documentary recently called Trophy Kids on Netflix (check it out if you’re interested) and it was about parents with children that are winners. These children compete in different sports around the nation and spend most of their lives focusing on that one task. There was this one dad is particular who felt it was necessary for his son to “learn what it means to be a man,” and to him, that meant ripping him apart emotionally and psychologically. Other parents, even the mother, would confront him about how he would speak to his child, and he would disagree and say these were essential lessons his child needed to learn. Eventually, his son moved back in with his mom and they completely stopped talking to one another. I used this example because it represents the way many parents view their job as a parent. They think it’s their job to teach their kids that life is hard by being abusive.
Another thing these parents seem to do is they will completely ignore the psychological discovery of brain development for growing kids. It is proven that children’s brain development causes them to throw tantrums. This doesn’t end in the toddler stage either. These tantrums will happen until they’re about 22-24 years old. Many parents want to deny this fact by saying that we baby our children too much now. They believe that instead of calmly having a civil conversation with their child where they explain to them what it wrong and the consequences of their actions, they want to instead attempt to control them with fear and abuse.
I can understand that children are frustrating, but you always have to keep in mind that you are the adult, but that doesn’t mean that you get to use abuse as a tactic for control. You are in control because you are more knowledgeable and have a better grasp on your emotions then they will have for a few more years. It’s important to always keep that in the back of your head when dealing with a kid that’s having a temper tantrum or a breakdown.
I’m obviously just speaking from what I know, and many people have different experiences or ignorance that hasn’t been explored or examined yet. There are a large portion of parents who didn’t even want to be parents and are just trying the best they can from their experiences on how they were raised. That’s why there are so many programs now like Break The Cycle where they address the abusive tendencies and actions that have been passed down to us from our parents who were also just trying to raise their kids as best as possible based on our grandparents. All we can really do is attempt to open people’s minds about these discoveries and progression so we can better the lives of everyone growing up in our community and eventually around the world. Those are hopeful views, I know.